Och, BLASTIT, CAtspaw...how daur ye gae aff an' turn oot tae be as fragile an' human as th' rest o' us! Tho' ye set this wee seminarian tae blushin' wi' yir colorfu' language, I ken richt weel ye hae a hairt o' gold...

THAT maun be it! A' that gold in yir hairt...tends tae wear a bodie oot, aye? Carryin' th' weicht o' th' wairld, pretendin' tae be carnaptious an' slee tae obscure yir auld saftie sel' belaw it a'..... Hmph. Jist for what ye've put us thro' o'er th' months an' years, I'm gang tae inflict ma seminarian sel' upon ye an' pray wi' a' ma micht. May ye hae peace an' rest, Dear Ane, an' th' fierce whimsey tae maeve thro' th' wuids an' come oot t'ither side. Blessins upon ye!

But wait...I'm nae dane wi' ye jist yet. Tae pay ma best respects, I'll spit in death's eye richt alang wi' ye. Here's a bit frae Robbie Burns tae contribute tae healin' laughter a' aroond:

FOR MR. WILLIAM MICHIE, SCHOOLMASTER

Here lie Willie Michie's banes:

O Satan, when ye tak him,

Gie him th' schulin' o' yir weans,

For clever deils he'll mak them!

ON CAPT. LASCELLES

When Lascelles thought fit from this world to depart,

Some friends warmly spoke of embalming his heart.

A bystander whispers:--'Pray don't make so much o't--

The subject is poison, no reptile will touch it.'

FOR GAVIN HAMILTON, ESQ.

The poor man weeps--here Gavin sleeps,

Whom canting wretches blam'd;

But with such as he, where'er he be,

May I be sav'd or damn'd.

Wi' Auld Robbie, I pray an' bide wi' grait affection for a Guid Mon, wishin' ye may defy Auld Clootie yet an' stay on this side o' th' Gates!!!

--Cuilionn