Gary, my old dutch, will it enrich your life if I told that in 1987, I sold a perfectly good Morris Marina - WVV 590L (Linda Kelly! - A Coventry numberplate!) to the contractor who made a fortune cleaning the windows at Longleat, for £150? Hmmm, thought not. But perhaps I try to impress you too much.

August is in the diary, but I have just realised that every diary I have ever possessed has been similarly endowed with Augusts. At least I publicly admitted that I missed my accomplice on my solitary trip to Nellies. There can be no greater affirmation than posting this fact to a thread that is read by literally tens of people. My solicitor will be in possession of this detail in the morning.

Withernsea saw PTH being given the benefit of a smoke generator, and a compare from clubland, who introduced us as a "Speciality Act". We will now appear in similar circumstances as "Punch the Horse and his Amazing Radioactive Duck" It was, despite this, and all the sex afterwards, a fine evening.