You may have seen this one on e-mail or heard it, but it's pretty funny - although totally non-PC.

[Note: remember the peculiarities of Pommy English pronunciation: in this case "a" is pronounced "o" as in "not".]

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A man calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse . The rancher says, "how will I recognize him?"
"That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment."
So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.
"A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly.
"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth"?
So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.
"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth"? So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears. "Nith earzth. Can I see her mouf"?
The rancher is gettin pretty pissed off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nice mouf, can I see her twat"?

Totally pissed at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arm and jams the midget's head as far as he can up the horse's you-know-what, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should rephrathe that."

"Can I thee her wun awound a widdle bit"?

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sorry, sorry!!!

Helen