PLASTIC PADDY..Eric Bogle
He's just a plastic Paddy singing plastic Paddy songs
In a plastic Paddy pub that they call the Blarney Stone
There's plastic shamrocks on the wall there's guinness and green beer
And a sign in gaelic above the bar which says god bless all here
His guitar sounds like a wardrobe(?) and it's out of tune at that
His singing voice it ranges from a sharp to a flat
He just desecrated the Holy Ground with a bark-like Velvet Band
Sang Seven Nights Drunk and now he's sunk The Irish Rover with all hands
Cos he's just a plastic Paddy singing plastic Paddy songs
In a plastic Paddy pub that they call the Blarney Stone
There's Aer Lingus posters everywhere from pretty Irish Scenes
All peaceful and Idylic and very bloody green
He's done awful things to Molly Malone and the fair Rose of Tralee
He's murdered Carrick Fergus and poor old Mother Macree
He's thrashed his way through Galway Bay and the Wild Irish Rose
And if he starts singing Danny Boy I'm going to punch him in the nose
When Irish Eyes are Smiling and The Mountains of Mourne
In the search for Celtic cliches(?) man has left no stone unturned
Till he embarks upon The Harp That Once Through Tara's Halls
Accompanying himself on the bodhran which takes a lot of courage
Cos he's just a plastic Paddy singing plastic Paddy songs
In a plastic Paddy pub that they call the Blarney Stone
Now he's just sung in his mother tongue, the ancient Irish erse
And cleared the pub completely by the forty-second verse
Cos he's just a plastic Paddy singing plastic Paddy songs
He's started singing Danny Boy so it's time that I was gone
And just one thought comes to my mind as I stagger through the door
Where are you when we need you Christy Moore
Jack