They tried the long weight/long stand one on me, but fortunately I'd heard of it before. My friend was told the spirit level didn't work because it needed a new bubble, and they were going to send her to the hardware shop for one, but she cottoned on quick enough.
In a restaurant where I worked for a while I was told a "Mr. C. Lyons" had phoned for me and I was to call him back on a given number - which was of course the number for the zoo.