The Old Prognosticator
(tune: The Old Settler/Acres of Clams)

I've traveled all over this planet
There's little that I haven't tried
Until I heard tell of a German
Who just wants to feel your backside
Who just wants to feel your backsi-yi-yide
Who just wants to feel your backside
Until I heard tell of a German
Who just wants to feel your backside

First I thought he was some kind of pervert
Some nutcase devoid of all class
Then I read that he foretells the future
From reading the lines on your ass
From reading (etc)

So I went down to Hamburg to meet him
His wife greeted me at the door
And soon all my beautiful clothing
Was in a small pile on the floor
Was in a small pile (etc)

Then she led me into a small chamber
Where a man with dark glasses did sit
And he said "I am zo glad to meet you,
Bring your butt here vhere I can reach it."
Bring your butt here (etc)

I was nervous as you can imagine
T'have this stranger touch my derriere
Then he said, "Ach mein Lieber! It's yoost like
The hair on the back of a bear!"
The hair on the back (etc)

Well I left in a huff, let me tell you
While Ulf called, "Come back! I'm not done!"
But I threw on my clothes in a jiffy
And soon hit the street at a run
And soon hit the street (etc)

And then would you believe in a fortnight
I got Ulf Beck's bill for the fare
He said he was charging me double
For feeling my acres of hair
For feeling (etc)

Copyright ©2002 Alex E Riggle. All Rights Reserved.