Ha ha ha ha!! These songs are great!!! Bravo, everyone. Awrightee, here's the one I started yesterday...

A FORTUNE FROM BEHIND
(Tune: "Love Potion Number Nine" by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller)
Pronunciation Guide: Ideally, "fortune" should be pronounced "FO-chun" ;^)

I took my two buns down to Meister Ulf –
You know, that German with the guide-dog wolf –
He's got a fad, now; I heard he paws 'em blind,
Tellin' kids his fondles tell
A fortune from behind.

I told him that I was a cop. His fix
Of skin's against the law, so nix his tricks!
I wrote out a ticket and said, "Just read this!" "Nein,"
He said, "All I read is
A fortune from behind.

"So bend down and turn around and don't be a fink,"
He said, "I'm gonna feel you up. Your future is pink!
You'll get a third of what I make. I'll give you a mink..."
I held his wrist. I cuffed his ass. He's in the clink!

He'll never go out in the daytime light.
I doubt he's missing Meldorf's bums tonight
'Cause when he pissed this cop off who'd heard he paws 'em blind,
The pokey's where I thought he'll have
A fortune from behind
A fortune from behind
A fortune from be-hi-yi-yi-yi-yinnnnd!