Copied from http://www.locksley.com/sass/songs/037.htm

THE BAREFOOT BOY WITH SHOES ON
(Asa Martin)

Oh, the night was dark and cloudy. The moon was shining bright.
The stars were casting burning rays on the storm that raged that night.
Lightning struck the cowshed and the cows all chewed their cud.
Moonlight set the prairie on fire in the middle of the woods.

Oh, the barefoot boy with shoes on come a-shuffling down the street.
His pants were full of pockets and his boots were full of feet.
He was born when he was a baby, his grandma's pride and joy.
His only sister was a girl and his brother was a boy.

He never was a triplet but he always was a twin.
His legs were fastened to his knees just below his chin,
And his feet were fastened to his ankles several inches from his shoulder,
And when he grew up, he became a man and every day got older.

He married him a woman who quickly became his wife,
For you see he could not marry her and maintain a single life.
Her head was full of notions and her mouth was full of tongue.
They raised a dozen children, all born when they was young.

Six boys, five girls and then another child--
They never tried to raise them right, just let them grow up wild,
And late in the evening they'd send them off to bed,
Not sure if they was living and they wished they all was dead.

The youngest was a baby but the oldest was one first.
The good one was the bad one, but the bad one was the worst.
They never knew their ages; no, they never seemed to care,
'Cause they knew they had a birthday and it came 'round once a year.

They never knew their father's age, but they always had a hunch
That he was born before their time, was the oldest of the bunch,
And when they died, they could not speak; their names they could not tell.
The girls all went to heaven and the boys all went out west.

Variants:
[Here I have copied only the verses that are different from the ones already posted or in DigiTrad. -JD]

"My husband's dead," the lady said. Her eyes were dry with tears.
She put her head between her feet and stood that way for years.

As the wind was blowing bubbles, lightning shot from left to right.
Everything that you could see had been hidden out of sight.

As I gazed through the oaken door, a whale went drifting by,
Its six legs hanging in the air, so I kissed her goodbye.

This story has a moral, as you can plainly see:
Don't mix your gin with whiskey on the deep and dark blue sea.