John, I think Oaklet is an apt applet to The Artist Formerly Known As Oakley, given that he's lost 37% of his body fat index by literally burning off fat (or wax) and nekkid bicycling. Despite an heroic carbo-stacking backlash, he continues to waste away before our eyes, until all that remains of this crisp of spontaneous human combustion is a couple of brownish yellow (and isn't it a sumptuous colour?) wicks smouldering from his f holes.

If ever a man neede fortifying bear, it's him. What's it like curried?

Gary Gilmore