MEXICAN HAT DANCE
(by Allan Sherman; Parody of "Mexican Hat Dance")
As recorded by Allan Sherman on "My Son, the Celebrity" (1963)
Oh Americans dance on a dance floor.
And the Spaniards, they dance on a table.
And the Russians, they dance on a saber.
But the Mexicans dance on their hats.
Oh they dance on hot coals in Calcutta.
In Wisconsin they dance on fresh butta,
Which they squeeze from one cow or anutta.
Yes, the Mexicans dance on their hats.
There are Mexicans dancing on derbies.
There are Mexicans dancing on caps.
They just throw their fedoras
Wherever the floor is,
And start doing horas and taps.
They won't quit! They go on!
It's a Mexican custom,
To take hats and bust 'em,
By doing a dance thereupon.
Oh the reason they shot Pancho Villa
Was he danced on his mother's mantilla.
And the message did not reach Garcia.
He was out somewhere dancing on hats.
There's a fellow in West Acapulco,
The most elegant man you could meet.
He does sambas on hombergs
To tunes of Sig Romberg's,
And sometimes the Nutcracker Suite.
So take care! So beware!
Or they'll put castanets on
And ruin your Stetson,
'Cause they all think they're Fred Astaire!
If you're ever in Mexico proper,
And you're wearing a straw hat or topper,
When the band starts to play, call a copper,
'Cause by now you should know
That they'll grab your chapeau,
And they'll stomp till it's flat,
And that's that!
That's what Mexicans do on your hat.