As I was out surfing the Mudcat for pleasure
That same GUEST flamer came trolling along
Said "I've checked out you guys, I've taken your measure
And take it from me: you're doing it wrong!"

CHORUS
"Come a yippee tiyi, I'm not some old fogie
Who's always bragging on the singers he's known
In truth, I'm more like a dog in a manger
A son of a bitch with a mighty big bone!"

"I noticed this party, folks laughing and singing
The door was open, so I ambled on in
Heard 'Guest, you're welcome, what ideas are you bringing?'
I growled, gnawed my big bone, didn't know where to begin."

CHORUS

"I don't like you, and I don't like your thinking,
And the host of the party's the worst of the lot.
I hear people talking about farting and drinking,
The furniture's run down -- and this party is shot!"

CHORUS

"I'll read in your library and eat at your table,
My contribution? Sour grapes I can bring;
I'll spread as much dissension as I am able
And I don't give a damn if you're happy and sing!"

CHORUS

And Mudcatters all with typical politeness
Tried to hard to stay calm as he still hogged the floor
We showed him the door with kiindness and lightness,
"Please just go away and come back no more!"

Come a yippee tiyi, get along you big doggie,
It's all your misfortune and none of our own!
Come a yippee tiyi, get lost, you mean doggie!
Find some other website to piss and to moan!