Are you sozzled again, John?

Okay, Raggytash - you've had all the boring, sensible advice, let's go for the WSSBA brand of advice...

Situation: The cat has peed in your guitar case. The case now stinks of cat pee, and the cat is unrepentant.

1. You may deduce that the cat has it in for you. Try to find out why. Admittedly, this may not be easy...cats are complex creatures.

2. Immediately take all other instrument cases and valuable absorbent objects and place them in a locked storage area. A spiteful cat will not stop at peeing in just one guitar case.

3. You need to do something about the smell...now!

4. Procure a live skunk. There are various ways of doing this. Remember that skunks are nocturnal, and plan accordingly.

5. Hold skunk with rear end pointing at open guitar case. Slap skunk across the face. The skunk will now spray your guitar case copiously. You may now release the skunk back into the wilds. You will discover that there is no longer much, if any, perceivable smell of cat urine coming from the guitar case.

6. If you can STILL detect some cat smell from the case, procure a second skunk and repeat steps 4 & 5 above.

7. If skunks are not readily available, an adult billy goat will work fairly well too, although getting him inside the case is difficult, and you will have to keep him inside it for at least 1 hour.

8. All in all, I recommend the skunk technique. It's less rigorous. Billy goats are cantankerous bastards at the best of times.

Good luck!

- LH