I have a copy of the ASV CD "Your Own . . . Your Very Own" with the Champion song rec. May 1910 (label no. 27176) which I transcribed. Have I got it right?


DON'T DO IT AGAIN, MATILDA
Words and music by Fred Murray, 1911
As sung by Harry Champion.

1. Matilda, a lady I've known many years, she's a beauty, a bit of all right.
Last night in her parlour, I sat on a chair and I had such a terrible fright.
I thought that her poodle had bit me, I did, when I rolled myself up in a knot.
When she said that her beautiful set of false teeth she had laid on the chair, I said, "What?"

Ah, don't do it again, Matilda. Don't do it again.
Your beautiful teeth they are most unkind.
Never bit me before, but they bit me behind.
Wow! Wow! They're biting me now, and I cannot locate the pain.
Pull 'em out of my south. Put 'em into your mouth, and don't do it again.

2. Matilda and I went to Brighton one day and she stood on the beach 'long o' me.
The wind it was windy, got under her clothes and it blew her right out in the sea.
I saw her come up with a smile on her face, but she looked like a drownded old pup.
She came up again to the top of the foam, when I said, "That's your second time up."

Ah, don't do it again, Matilda. Never you do it again.
You've done it now twice and number three,
You'll find it unlucky. Just take it from me.
Don't throw that under your nose, but swallow the raging main.
Drink up all the lot. When you get to the bot', then never come up again.

3. Matilda she went to a fancy dress ball and she played an original part.
She rubbed herself over with raspberry jam and she went as a raspberry tart.
I went up to hug her and give her a kiss. Well, the jam was all over my kite.
I know she's a sticker, but lor' what a licker! I shouted, "You've done it tonight."

Ah, don't do it again, Matilda. Don't do it again.
That raspberry jam was made of glue,
Which cannot be helped, but I'm sticking to you.
My luck! Our noses are stuck, and I'm starting to lose my train.
I can't walk about with you stuck on my snout, so don't do it again.

4. I shall never forget, on the day I got wed, well, there's only your humble to blame.
Matilda insisted on washing my shirt and I'd only one shirt to my name.
She sent it along, and when I put it on, I discovered that I was a jay,
She'd starched it all over from bottom to top, so I wrote her a letter to say:

Don't do it again, Matilda. Don't do it again.
The dickey's as stiff as a rusty nail,
And the back of it's wagging about like a tail.
My shirt, oh, doesn't it hurt! Just toddle around and explain,
It's a stiff as a pin and I can't tuck it in, so don't do it again.


Transcribed from no. 27176 (May 1910)

HJB