When a guy puts something in a precarious spot, before he walks away from it he says the magic incantation "It's not going anywhere." When I worked as a museum art handler a guy did this so often that I finally said "You never think anything is going anywhere." He said "Just something I've learned from life." I've always liked the phrase "conducting their own investigation" and I like to use it when I get in trouble, i.e. "I'm sorry I was late again, I'm conducting my own investigation." Another good excuse for being late is "I fell into a burning ring of fire." There are also meaningless phrases that are wonderfully evocative, like McCartney's "wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door" or David Mamet's "look on their face like they've been fucked with a dead cat"-- which was cut from the movie of his play.