Another version.

SEVEN OLD LADIES
(To the tune of "Oh, Dear, What Can the Matter Be")
The seventh lady's stanza is lacking.

Chorus:
Oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies were locked in the lavat'ry;
They were there from Monday till Saturday,
And nobody knew they were there.

The first old lady was 'Lizabeth Porter;
She was the deacon of Dorchester's daughter.
Went to relieve a slight pressure of water,
And nobody knew she was there.

The second old lady was Abigail Splatter.
She went there 'cause something was definitely the matter,
But when she got there, it was only her bladder,
And nobody knew she was there.

The third old lady was Amelia Garpickle;
Her urge was sincere, her reaction was fickle.
She hurdled the door; she'd forgotten her nickel,
And nobody knew she was there.

The fourth old maiden was Hildegard Foyle;
She hadn't been living according to Hoyle,
[She was relieved it was only a boil,]
And nobody knew she was there.

The fifth old lady was Emily Clancy;
She went there [when it] tickled he fancy,
But when she got there it was ants in her pantsy,
And nobody knew she was there.

The sixth old lady was Elizabeth Bender;
She went there to repair a broken suspender.
It snapped up and ruined her feminine gender,
And nobody knew she was there.

The janitor came in the early morning.
He opened the door without any warning,
The seven old ladies their seats were adorning,
And nobody knew they were there.

From: Ed Cray, The Erotic Muse, 2nd ed. (U of Illinois Pr., 1992, pp. 119-120)

~Masato