My current favourite expression at this juncure is FOG (figure it out yourself) but I would really like to explain to this guest in person by knocking seven shades of shit out of him. Apart from the fact it would be impossible. He/She has neither the courage, the commitment nor the sense to show themselves in person.

Remember that people like this feed on people like us. It turns them on. It feeds their otherwise empty lives. It is a form of internet wanking. They only exist by the good grace of people like Big Mick and Gareth and LJC.

Do your worst, dear guest, you cannot harm us. We are and always will be better than you. You cannot prove who you are, what you do or where you live. I can. Check it out -

Dave Polshaw. Manchester. UK. Folk club organiser for 25 years. Festival organiser for 20. Mudcat contributor for 3. Arranger or Mudcat gatherings for as long.

What do you do guest? Apart from piss people off?

Oh, and don't go down the 'I have wound you up' route. Coz you haven't. I just like to make you look as small as you realy are.

Now go down whatever sewer you live in and smell the shit.

Cheers

Dave the Gnome