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#1. An elderly preacher was dying, and he asked two members of his large congregation to come and stay with him as he passed-on. They were a lawyer and an IRS agent. They sat quitely with him for several hours, before they finally asked the preacher why he had called them, since the congregation had hundreds of members who were closer to him personally. The old preacher mustered up some strenth and managed to barely whisper, " Christ died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go too."
#2. A very wealthy man was dying, and he called over three people, his doctor, his minister, and his lawyer, He wanted to tell them of his final wishes. He handed them each an envelope with ten thousand dollars in it. He told them that, although he knew it was foolish, he wanted them to each place the envelopes in his coffin when he died, so he would have some cash in the afterlife (just in case). Several months after the funeral, the three ran into one another at a restaurant. The doctor seemed very troubled, and he said that he had only put in $9000.00, havving kept one thousand to pay some of the deceased medical bills. The minister started crying and confessed that he had kept the same amount for the deceased favorite charities. The attorney was just indignant, and he blustered, "I can't believe it. I am in shock. I didn't keep a dime. I put my own personal check in that coffin, for the full ten thousand dollars!"