I am an alchoholic.

There's little doubt about the fact. Under any measure you might wish to suggest, I'd pretty much meet the profile.

Unfortunately, I have a big problem admitting it to myself.

Just now, I had an honest chat with my girlfriend about the situation and she was horrified when I told her how much I drank.

She suspected, sure, but I've been kinda sneaky (if lying is sneaky). I'm totally ashamed of myself. This minute, there's a bottle of wine downstairs. We bought it to drink together, but right now I 'need' it, and am on the brink of opening it, drinking it all and trying to make up some transparent excuse as to why it isn't there tomorrow (I don't have money to replace it) But who cares about tomorrow? I NEED it now.

This is horrible!

One problem is that I'll wake up again tomorrow, wish I hadn't posted this and think, 'it's OK' everything will be fine

If you understand me, any ideas. No 'rock bottom' AA crap please.

And NO crappy 'good lucks' from people who don't understand. Indeed NO messages from people without experience appreciated.