At the risk of sounding off about "AA Crap", That crap kept me totally sober for five years. Had I kept going I would prbably still be stone sober. I, drink now on rare occasions and never binging like I used to. I needed the AA crap to get back on track where I could assume control again. The first step is admitting you have a problem and I think you have adequately covered that. The next is to tell yourself "I will not drink today" and stick to that. Quitting fior ever is a big thing and hard. Not drinking today is cake That is how I quit smoking and I have not had a cigarette in nine years. If a day is too much, say a half-day. You can do this and there are people and organizations that can help. You just took the hardest step. Kindest regards, neil