I came here looking for some friendly support and read Julie's message looking for friendly words and lo and behold we're dealing with the same issue - but from different sides.

Two weeks ago I told my husband of 17 years that I'm so unhappy in our relationship that I need to move out. We've had counselling and all that, but all it did for me was clarify that we want very different things in life. He's a great guy, but he's not what I need emotionally. A week in a psychiatric hospital last summer illustrated the dangers of ignoring my emotional needs.

My husband is very angry with me because (he says) I am being selfish and ruining the lives of our two children. Way to push a mother's buttons.

WHat makes it worse is that a year ago I met someone who does meet my emotional needs. He's not the reason I'm leaving, but it sure does complicate things.

Tell me I'm not an evil bitch. Tell me my kids will be OK. All my local friends are married and do not want to talk about this.