Thanks Gypsy (you posted while I was replying to Mick).

I am already a mudcat member but I joined years ago using my "real" name, which is why I posted this as a guest. So now I have a mudcat alter ego. What fun.

I did tell my husband I want us to date after we separate. ANd I know intellectually that there's little chance my other relationship is built on a sustainable foundation, that's why I've tried to base my decisions on my relationship with my husband. I believe my therapist when she says another person could not have entered the picture if my marriage had been strong.

Thanks for the encouragement. I am trying very hard to listen to my authentic self. I may taake you up on the PM offer.