I've been through it, twice. If you are honest with your kids, and you do this to take care of yourself and thus, them, your kids will be okay. Without a healthy mom, they will not be. It takes a lot of work, on the part of both parents.

Gypsy is right...kids know and it can be a relief to all concerned for things to change in a positive direction. It may be difficult for everyone to see that it is a positive direction. You obviously know it must be and it sounds as though you have no choice if you want to remain mentally, emotionally, and physically intact, since they all effect each otehr.

When your husband pushes your buttons, try to mentally say, "Thanks, but NO thanks" and replace the image his words bring up with a positive image of yourself and your kids adjusting and being happy, as well as your husband. Feel free to PM me, also, if you think it would help.

The first time I went through this, my son was 4.5 and my daughter 1.5. The second time, my son was 9, first daughter was 6, and second daughter was almost 2. They have known Rog as their dad ever since 1979 and have turned out to be really healthy adults. I am convinced this is in large part because I took care of me, so that I could take care of them, too.

One other thing: if you can, get a mediator and/or lawyer to draw up an agreement now. It would be better, now, than later when everyone may be even more upset and/or spiteful.

kat