I quit in 1987, after my mother - a smoker of 40-some years had quit - after she had open heart surgery. I went through a class. I think I was the only person in the class that didn't start back up...at least not for a few years. Quit a whole bunch of times since then.


There are people I hide my smoking from. I have some really good justifications for that. (Let me know if you need any - they'll work for most anything.) Bottom line, as Rick, that son-of-a li'l ole mentor pointed out - that's what addicts do. They hide the truth and they lie. I never lied about it, but I sure did try to hide it!

For me the problem isn't quitting. Quitting's a piece of cake. I've never had intense cravings. The worst part is that I smoke while I do certain things and to mark time. I start things with cigarettes: sit down to play music and light one; get in the car and light one; light one right before bed or when I get up. It's more of a ritual. I don't need the nicotine that badly, but all the while I'm doing something, I'm thinking "I should be smoking while I do this," and I keep reaching for where the ash tray isn't.

What's tough is not starting again down the road. At some point, I won't feel any sort of wish to smoke. The part of my brain responsible for twisting logic and creating the above-mentioned justifications will think "if you don't need it then it's ok to do it." I will bum a cigarette, light it, cough and get a wicked head rush. I will think "wow - this happened to my body every time I smoked one." I will do this over and over again until I quit feeling that rush and I give up and buy a pack. If the person I bummed the first one from had said "I won't give you one, I'll give you the pack," I wouldn't have taken it. I wouldn't have been just "cheating" but starting up again.

Funny. Rick started this thread around 20 minutes after I smoked my last one. He knew I wanted to quit, but I never told him I'd made up my mind about when.

Anyhow, this is day 1 for me - the 22nd of August, 2002 - sometime around 11:00PM Mudcat time, I'll complete day 1 and start on day 2. All I'd better think about now is getting through the 11th hour.