My favorite, from Chaucer:

I wolde I had thy coillons in myn hond
In stide of relikes or of seintuarie.
Lat kutte hem of, I wold thee help hem carie;
They shul be shryned in an hogges toord!

I wish I had your bollocks in my hand
in place of relics or of saints' holy items
Come, cut them off and I'll help you carry them;
They shall be enshrined in a hog's turd!

Of course, this also gives you "hogges toord" and "coillions" to use as you see fit.