Interesting.

Opposed to most of you, I come from a very touchy-feely family and as an adult I've had to learn to read the person so I didn't overdo it. Let's face it, some people just aren't into hugs. But I'm still touchy-feely and it's worked well in situations where it was not an accepted thing to do. For instance, you must be very careful how you express love if you're a foster parent....sounds a bit nuts, but it's letigious country. It didn't stop us, but it took some time with the kids for them to accept what we gave in the manner we meant it.

The best experience came in teaching. I taught 16-19 year old males who had a hard time expressing caring type emotions even when they wanted to. I had them as juniors and a different teacher had them as seniors. I treated them as adults, he didn't. I was a teacher, but I was also their friend (who they often referred to as "Big Dog"). I got them used to the occasional hand on the shoulder and the generally touchy things like that along with the usual teen slap fight games. When the senior teacher had problems, the admin got used to calling me in to mediate until one day the Director saw it wasn't really working because they would cool down only for awhile. His line was, "Patterson comes in, puts his arm around a few shoulders, gets a few laughs, and all's right with the world."

When that group graduated it was a high point of my life, a time you know you've had success. We had also spoken about how only a few simple words could express the way you felt as in the men saying good night to Mr. Roberts in the movie. I even showed them the movie! As they came across and received their diplomas, they shook hands as they were supposed to until they got to me. It actually took me a moment to figure out what was going on. They had it worked out though and each one gave me a hug (remember these are teen males in front of their peers) and said, "Good-bye Mr. P. and thanks....."

Still can't think about that one without crying.............

Spaw