I was despondent when my childhood cat Emmett disappeared. Again when Lauren disappeared in grad school. And when I waas seeing Ziggy through a near-death experience after he was hit by a car, well, while it was touch and go I was a mess; crying at work, etc. So I do understand this. I have friends who have said they experienced deeper grief over the death of pets than over their human loved ones. It seems easier (? or maybe more acceptable) to express this grief somehow.

I wish you both well. It will get better with time. It may be this grief is tangled with other emotions (guilt, anger etc.) and that may churn up other issues.

peace to you

peg