I have heard over and over again that it doesn't happen till everyone relaxes or gives up and THEN relaxes. I think the best thing you can do is refuse to think of making love as trying to make a baby. No matter how much you want it, if you let that become your main thought you will not only harm your marriage, you will have awful regrets if the pregnancy never happens AND the marriage has been hurt. If you insist on keeping this a romance instead of anything else, and welcome a baby if one comes, you may be helping your wife more than you could in any other way, AND you may get a baby out of it.

How to stop worrying? Recall what brought the two of you together and settle for nothing less. Win her heart all over again, as the woman she is now, and as the man you are now, and the hormones will probably follow.

What I am saying is that of course you both want this, and you both have hormones and so on making it hard to keep a relaxed attitude about it, but that you are still capable of choosing a viewpoint about it and working to keep that view-- that you CAN recreate your attitude about this and that since her hormones and our society's conditioning are probably making her crave a baby past all reason, YOU may be the one who can turn the tide in this.

~Susan