PT, old buddy, I think you need to go back to your writing, the point just before you started getting silly, and rework that part!! LOL!!

I can assure you there are at least that many furniture related incidents not in the databases, due to misplaced masculine pride. These injuries were caused by highly volatile opinions about where chairs and pianos should be put; causing grievous harm to shoulders, atlas vertebrae, hip joints, and sacroiliacs in mature males between 35 and 65. Typical population was also white (57%), educated (74% were college graduates) and pussy-whpped (89%).

Oddly enough in 62% of the cases surveyed, the offending object was restored to its original position after it had finished its dastardly work. Investigators, working for insurance companies, are preparing position papers on the possibility that claims should be denied as intentionally perpetrated by spousal beneficiaries.

A