Dr. Guitar, if the offending player were my husband I would have no hesitation in sending him to you forthwith, but as it is the husband of another woman I will have to consult her before taking you up on your generous offer. Perhaps if the problem does indeed spread to the other instruments you might consider a housecall for a group consultation? If so I will be able to put on my nurse's uniform and assist, as I am sure the autoharp is genetically incapble of being infected. In the meantime I will indeed focus our group's efforts on more spiritual and soulful material.

I can only hope that prayer will be effective. If it is not, I suppose we may arrange for a certain purification rite, although it is a bit obscure and not much in current usage by churchmen. It's somewhat like the more well-known Blessing of Instruments-- the Reverent Sacrifice of a Chosen Victim, carried out during the Vigil of St. Vitus.

A Tru