Dear Dr. or Mr. Guitar (or whoever's minding the store),

I guess I got it all wrong! Like Peg, I heard that it was easier to learn with TaB, so I drank a lot of the stuff while I was practicing. The problem with that was that every time I tried to sing, all I could do was burp. I figured that they must have changed to formula or something, so I tried drinking beer instead. I lost a lot of practice time because after a few beers, I'd have to keep running to the biffy to relieve myself. And if I practiced longer (drinking more beer, of course) to make up for the time I had to stand there taking a leak, I found that I tended to fall off the chair a lot.

I had to go on a twelve-step program, I have to spend a lot of time going to a urologist, and I still can't play worth a damn. I just thought my story might help others to avoid the mistakes I've made.

I. P. Freely