John, I've heard Shoals of Herring? many ways, and the words I was cook and I'd a quarter share in't were supposedly the "official" ones, but whoever heard of a neophyte sailor on a fishing trawler getting one forth of the entire ship's proceeds when he wasn't even able to fish yet? In a later verse, he continues,
Now you're up on deck and you're the fisherman,
you can swear and show a manly bearing
...bears this out. The lyrics I swear by were I was cook and I the quarter sharing -- meaning that he was allowed to bunk with the big boys now.

Alice, I don't know about you, but I always try to put feather in my blood pump. Some of the foreign kids in the school where my wife teaches have an interesting form of patriotism to their new country: they solemnly pledge allegiance to the frog. A Japanese ESL student of my mothers always craps to show his appreciation.

Uncle Fred, my version of Pete Seeger's One-ton tomoato was aways One ton of mayo
I needed one ton of mayo...

Margarita, Weskora & Tim Jaques, those "Beatles" lyrics are from Get Back, a song they sang that was actually written by Chuck Berry. But it's not the only trans-gender theme they touch upon. Try the lyrics to Obla D Obla Da where
Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face.

But maybe you can all help me with this one:
I"m not talkin' 'bout ________
And I don't want to change your life
But there's a warm breeze blowin' the stars around
And I'd really like to see you tonight.

Except for that one word (indicated by a blank), every word in this song is very clear, but I spent years struggling with it:
I"m not talkin' 'bout Meridians
I"m not talkin' 'bout Bolivia
I"m not talkin' 'bout the little ones ...and so on

Yeesh. Then my sister told me it was
I"m not talkin' 'bout the living in
...which might or might not be correct, but makes even less sense than the Mondegreens I'd been using!