Shit on me shoes, boys, shit shit shit
Locked in a cell, and I feel so sick,
They dragged me into jail though I never said a word
But I'm cursing that old mongrel with the tell-tale turd.

Lying on me back and a sniffing at the smell
Rising from the boots that have put me in the cell
I'm a robber with a difference, more especially when I'm shod,
And I haven't got no mates, they call me "Smelly little sod".

Shit on me shoes, boys, shit shit shit
Locked in a cell, and I feel so sick,
They dragged me into jail though I never said a word
But I'm cursing that old mongrel with the tell-tale turd.

I walked into the bookies, "Put your hands in the air"
I didn't think to look at the doggie standing there.
I didn't think to look, no, I wasn't thinking well,
And I put me foot right in it, and they tracked me by the smell.

Shit on me shoes, boys, shit shit shit
Locked in a cell, and I feel so sick,
They dragged me into jail though I never said a word
But I'm cursing that old mongrel with the tell-tale turd.

Oh curse that bloody dog, I've been landed in the shit,
And I can't stand Rolf Harris, not a single bloody bit.
I'm serving out me sentence, and I'm holding of me nose,
And I wish that I was taller, and was further from me toes.

Shit on me shoes, boys, shit shit shit
Locked in a cell, and I feel so sick,
They dragged me into jail though I never said a word
But I'm cursing that old mongrel with the tell-tale turd.

I had a prison visit from dear old Uncle Tom
"You're a shame to all Australia, why you smell just like a pom.
You're a bloody liability, and I'll tell you short and sweet,
Give up the bloody robbing – and go wash your bloody feet.

Shit on me shoes, boys, shit shit shit
Locked in a cell, and I feel so sick,
They dragged me into jail though I never said a word
But I'm cursing that old mongrel with the tell-tale turd.

("Click Go The Shears" of course.)

italics and line breaks fixed by mudelf ;-)