Ah Kevin, what a fantastic first entry!! Here's your Silver B.L.O.B. for this verse, which points out yet another problem of short people (like myself):

Oh curse that bloody dog, I've been landed in the shit,
And I can't stand Rolf Harris, not a single bloody bit.
I'm serving out me sentence, and I'm holding of me nose,
And I wish that I was taller, and was further from me toes.

-- Áine