Far too much tim round here is spent discussingwinter and summer solstice celebrations, and as far as I am concerned enough has been said on the subject. For agreeable people like myself, these silly pagan leftovers will now be cancelled and replaced with a sensible, middle of the road celebrationof the equinoxes: the first will be held tomorrow throughout the world.
The temperture will be adequate, nether too hot or two cold, and the days will be nether too long or too short, to avoid any arguments about which is better. Sex will be had in moderation, but not out in the woods, or tuckedup in bed, Probably on the porch would besuitable, or if this presents a neghbour problem, downstairs in the sitting room. And only with your lawful spouse. Drinking will be encouraged, but only shandy or low-alcohol Italian fruity wines.
Music is a difficult one: I think what wouldbe best would be no traditional folk, or noisy rock and roll or rap. Probably James Taylor songs would be appropriate, or white gospel. But only on CD, not live. Movies on video will be watched, but only those starring Tom Hanks.Political parties will not hold contrary opinions (actually, this seems to havebeen generally implemented already).Municipal firework displays will happen, but not with anything that goes too high or too loud. Bonfires are encouraged, but ingredients are limited to two of those bags ofkindling you can buy in garages.
There will be ABSOLUTELY NO sacrificing of virgins: one or two people of moderate sexual experience in the 30-45 age-group may be tied up and tickled for a few minutes.
This is the blueprint for tomorrow, world wide. Obviously other input of ideas is encouraged, and different traditions will develop over the years. Let the celebrations commence at midnight!!!