THE TAXI DRIVER'S CAP
Tune: The Lincolnshire Poacher or MacNamara's Band

O Hitler's a non-smoker and Churchill smokes cigars,
And they're both as keen as mustard on imperialistic wars.
But your Uncle Joe's a worker and a very decent chap,
Because he smokes a pipe and wears a taxi driver's cap.

When Rommel got to Alamein and shook the British line,
The whole of Cairo beat it to the land of Palastine.
But Moscow never raised a yell and never had a flap,
Because Joe smokes a pipe and wears a taxi driver's cap.

That Hitler's armies can't be beat is just a load of cock,
For Marshal Timoshenko's boys are racing through Van Brock,
The Fuehrer makes the bloomers and his marshals take the rap,
Meanwhile Joe smokes a pipe and wears a taxi driver's cap.

The Fascist drive on Stalingrad is going mighty slow,
They've got a room in Number Nine of Slobberskaya Row.
When Fascist armies start to run old Goebbels fills the gap,
Meanwhile Joe smokes his pipe and wears a taxi driver's cap.

At home those beggars publicise the deeds of "Our Ally",
Whose dearest wish was once to biff the Bolshie in the eye.
Your Uncle Joe is wise to this; He isn't such a sap,
Although he smokes a pipe and wears a taxi driver's cap.

Jim McLean

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An addendum from Jim:

Hi Joe, no I didn't write it, I got it from the first edition of The Rebels Ceilidh Songbook. The tune is given as 'The Lincolnshire Poacher or MacNamara's Band'. It's difficult to say who wrote it as most of the other songs in the book have authors' credits. Willie Kellock, who put the book together and wrote the introductory notes, says that some authors wished to remain anonymous. Regards, Jim Mclean

-Joe Offer-

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