Oh, I breezed through turning forty, and scoffed somewhat at those who considered the "Big 4-0" a traumatic experience. The passage of time and the collection of birthdays meant little to me.

However, in December, I will meet my fiftieth birthday, and, on some subliminal, primitive emotional level, I am in a panic.

My rationale has generally prevailed against strong negative emotions, but not so regarding this subject. I have actually awakened in the night with clammy sweats, seeing the years pass in the blink of an eye. I have a dizzying feeling similar to having climbed a tall ladder much too high. I find myself wanting to quickly climb back down, but, alas, I cannot.

I look at other, older folk, and think that they have a lot of time left and they should not sweat the small stuff like age. But, when it becomes a personal thing, I feel quite differently.

No point to this thread, I just wanted to whine a bit. Thanks for the space.

khandu