Thanks yall. I came up with a few more.

Your greatest acheivement will be in the field of Tidying Up.

70% of the fascinating information you've read is wrong.

Everytime you reach back around to plug something in the prongs will be backwards.

Something good is right around the corner and it will stay that way.

You will realise too late that you were meant to be a rodeo clown.

You'll never find the right haircut.