From "Advice To Tourists in Scotland"

Visitors to Glasgow:

Glasgow Celtic Football Club is one of Scotland's better known sides with a long and enviable history. They are distinguished by their famous green and white hooped strip. They are known as "The 'Gers", after founder member Gerry Mallone, the first man to introduce citrus fruit to Scotland. On entering a public house where the famous colours are in a predominance, the visitor is advised to declare loudly and clearly, "Up the 'Gers, I'm proud to be an Orangeman" You are guaranteed of receiving an extremely warm reception.


Oh! and Ard Mhacha, the statistics of the last thirty years puts the responsibility for the vast majority of the three thousand odd deaths and thousands of injuries firmly at the door of the Nationalist paramilitaries. The recent apology from the PIRA regarding the Black Friday bombings covered the day when 24 bombs were placed indiscriminately in Belfast's crowded shopping areas, while you are asking fellow Mudcatter Ireland for enlightenment, maybe he can tell you, as a soldier, how the butchers bill for that day was limited to five civilians and two security forces personnel - hint - it had nothing whatsoever to do with any desire or intention on the part of the PIRA to limit "innocent" civilian casualties.