i sat down the other night to try to write an english pub ballad with as many fetid cliches as i could think of
what am i missing...

ONE STOP ENGLISH FOLK SONG


As I was a walking for pleasure
A fair maid I did chance to see
So with a yo heave ho and a fal tal riddle
I tossed her in the deep blue sea

Ye ladies and ye gentlemen
it grieves me ten times more
That the briny ocean tossed her up
On americay's green shore

I did not care for her silver or gold
And im too young to marry
But she might have proved false to me
So I took her cash to carry

So the moral of my story
As you can plaiinly see
Ill go no more a roamin
Till I need hard currency

And as I close this sorry tale
Of tragedy and farce
I conclude the English folksong
Is a royal pain in the arse

Who cares about its plotlines
Who needs the working class
And sung in the new world its still
As painful to the ass

And so I end my dreadful song
No longer I will tarry
I've a far better thing that I must do
Watch curly, moe and larry