FOR FRIGGIN' SAKE!!

Here I was down the basement bevelling a new set of national fingerpicks (Yes, with my dremel) and I hear Heather upstairs chortling...an ugly sound at best, especially when she's chewing that Haggis flavoured gum at the same time!

"Better look at Mudcat" she says. Immediately I think, "My Gawd, what's happened? Has there been a new Poncho the Hearse thread9....Has Larry INOBU finally come to his senses and agreed with me in that notorious ten part thread.....has Peter T started wearing womens' clothes in public (or stopped...I forget which) .....has MTed shot one of his students for playing a bad F chord (no, that was me)....has Mudcat now become so user-friendly that it will take me another year to get used to it.....etc...etc. etc?

Well, lemme tell ya....Morticia, I'm afraid you're right. This dink of a cabinet Minister John Manley (have you seen his picture...he's a bit of a dork!) has publicly dissed the dear old Queen..AND I DON'T MEAN QUENTIN CRISP! Yep, good ol' Liz who's never done a lick of harm to anyone other than giving birth.

And BOY...I'll bet she just LOVES coming all the way to Canada...she gets a chance to inspect what's left of our military (there's only seven actual soldiers, the rest are in the reserves, or in jail for smoking dope)

She gets to be made an honorary First Nations' Princess for about the umpteenth time, and has to spend time with our Prime Minister Jean (pronounced 'Szjhnnnn') Cretin, who is imcomprehensible in BOTH official languages!

If that's not bad enough, they put her at centre ice in the middle of a hockey game and Wayne Gretsky knocked out her upper-plate with a slap shot. Boy, right about now I'll bet she wishes Fergie hadn't fucked up so badly and could do some of these "Loyalty to the Commonwealth Geriatrics" tours.

Oh well...if it's between me and Celine Dion, I guess I'll become king...we don't want Clinton Hammond gettin' that kind of power! But just one request from my Royal majesty....can you give that sheep-wimp Tony Blair a kick in the ass and tell him to show some backbone. Don't make me come over there Morty, y'hear?!

Cheers

King Richard the Turd (well that's how they'd say it Quebec!)