MESSING ABOUT WITH YOUR LIVER
(Cedric Binns)

There's whiskey or wine, or vodka is fine, for Messing About With Your Liver,
You can even try hops, or the new alcho pops, for M.A.W.Y.L.,
There's ale of all sorts, there's porter and stout,
There's lager and cider, they're all good no doubt,
But stay off the gin, it will lead to ruin, when you're M.A.W.Y.L.


Cerebral pastimes, are far too refined, when you're M.A.W.Y.L.,
The dots on the doms, become ill-defined, when you're M.A.W.Y.L.
The rings on the dartboard, dance up and down,
The balls on the pool table spin round and round,
If you take my advice don't bet on your hand, when you're M.A.W.Y.L.

Your vision gets blurred, and your speech may be slurred, whilst M.A.W.Y.L.,
The road may zig zag, you'll have to blow in the bag, through M.A.W.Y.L.,
Excuse me says the copper, but you've told a whopper,
Eight pints at least, you've had with your feast,
Spend the night in our cell, we'll take your car as well, no more M.A.W.Y.L.

The OH radical, may bring ridicule, whilst M.A.W.Y.L.,
The gaseous ethane, changes to ethanol, for M.A.W.Y.L.,
If you light your methane it'll blow off your head,
An excess of methanol will soon leave you dead.
C2H5(OH), will suit you just fine, for M.A.W.Y.L.,

If you drink strong ale, you'll never get stale, whilst M.A.W.Y.L.
Its laxative properties, will put you at ease, whilst M.A.W.Y.L.
With bowels in overdrive, don't get taken short,
Long meetings or car trips are bound to be fraught,
You'll get a rebuke, if you have to puke, through M.A.W.Y.L.

If you drink too much soup, you'll need a counselling group, through M.A.W.Y.L.,
You'll feel in a mess, when you have to confess, to M.A.W.Y.L.,
The parson, the doctor, the nurse and the beak,
All sit there stony-faced, your salvation to seek,
But there's none can deny, they've all had a try, at M.A.W. their Livers.
© Cedric Binns 6/2001