Well, danged, Spawzer, I was pssin' off a 35' bridge on cold winter's day. Might a fact it was so cold that my pea starting freezing on the way down and after a few seconds there was nuthin' but a frozen stream of pee from me down to the river below.

Well, that ain't nuthin' except that pee musta woke up a 135 pound Mud Tom who himself was rather p.o.'d at being woke up in the midddle of a Mud Tom dream with warm pee.

Well, he got so mad, he climbed that frozen stream of pee right up at me. Fortunately, I got finished up and got the "Bait" back in my pants just in time for him to come clashing over the railing on the bridge and landed right there in the middle of the bridge where he flopped around fir a good two hours.

When he finished floppin, me and my cousin Rufus, threw him big ol' Mud Tom self in the trunk of the car and stpped at a phone booth to call the women folk to tell em' to call up everyone for a big old winter catfish dinner.

Well, as things will happen, we got a flat tire on my couzin Rufus's Biscayne ( the Chevette wouldn't start that morning cause of the cold...)and pulled over to the side of the road, opened the trunk to discover that not only was the tire and jack gone but there was a big ol' catfish chewed hole in the trunk about 2 feet a 'round, and no Tom!

Man, had to drive 4 miles on the metal rim to Rufus's half a double woide back in the holler. Worst partr about it, when we got there, there were about 25 people waiting for dinner...

Yeah, they was mad and thought we made it up but Rufus was smart and took a picture of that Mud Tom before we threw him in the trunk. Yeah, that Tom was so big... (Ahhhhh, how big, Bobert?) that the photograph weighed in at just under 3 pounds...

And that's the truth...

Bobert