WARNING!:
To all UK citizens above a certain age.
I'm about to mention a name you may find shocking in this forum. Please take a seat, a deep breath and try not to be too scathing.

Richard Stilgoe...
once performed a song similar in theme to the above called Statutory Right of Entry to your Home", outlining those persons who have the said right.
Sadly I rather liked this offering and would appreciate the lyrics if anybody has them.

More in hope than expectation,

AndyG