Dave & Pete, please, don't give away the secret New Bush back-up plan!
   TOP SECRET! DO NOT READ!!
For Your Eyes, only:
We have decided that in the interest of National Security, we may need to engage our New Bush JR. Back-Up Plan herein referred to as NBJBUP).
In order to anihilate Iraq we require the use of the little known procedure of drafting specific musicians. No one can be told of this secret project! We will be sending our bravest Tin Whistle & Bodhran players to an out of the way location near Baghdad, to infiltrate the country. They will then enter the city with instruments cleverly hidden in secret pockets in their long robes, proceed to specific locations around the city marketplaces, which are marked on your maps, disguised as merchants, and begin to play, as if they were merely getting the attention of their customers. As the people gather around, the whistlers will get our their "F" & "G" whistles, and thus anhilate the population by shattering their eardrums, unless, of course, they say "Uncle" and they are taken into custody for the traditional brainwashing procedures and taught to play tin whistle & bodhran.
NOTE: Guys, be sure you have your ear plugs WITH YOU THIS TIME! We must not have a repeat of the old Desert Storm Bush Back-Up Plan and blow out each other's eardrums thus ending the mission prematurely!!
You will find an extra set in your backpacks! DO NOT REMOVE UNTIL YOU GET INTO POSITION TO PLAY!!! Then remove from backpacks & place them into your ears according to the procedures we practiced over 10,000 times, & begin to play!!
No time must be wasted in implementing this project! Remember that the President is counting on all of you to complete your mission successfully!
NOTE: LeRoy, please don't forget to take your moustache glue, as the last time we tried this, they figured out what you were up to when the moustache & beard fell off! We don't want the media to report endlessly on that one again!
Good Luck, Gentlemen!