Little Hawk, Kingston on Hull is Hull's Sunday - best name. It was originally called Wyke until Cromwell beat Sir Roger de Coursey at the battle of Naseby, allowing the Roman forces to harry the North and supplant Mary Queen of Scots with Boudecia in 1615, which is quarter past four in the afternoon. Did you see South Ferriby on your map? That's me that is.

And as for you, Nemesis of the North, you can bloody well shut the f*uck up, or so help me I'll add your name to the list of those about to get a damn good hiding. And anyway, people who use random French phrases in their spoken or written English are just so bloody passe.

It was a good night at Durty Nellies, though. Thanks everyone.