Sorry to have picked up on this thread a bit late, rock chick, but I can certainly sympathise with you, as my wife has no interest in my passion for folk generally, and shanty singing and concertina playing in particular. She therefore does not attend any events with me.

I developed my folk interest only quite recently some seven years after remarrying. I am now going for it hammer and tongs - out nearly every night of the week and festivals or other events most weekends. This is reinforced by the fact that I am 50+ and I see some of my contemporaries winding down their activities. My middle age crisis has turned me the other way, however. I am working hard at improving as a performer and intending to enjoy all the time I have left with as much activity as possible.

The difficulty comes if you feel that the bits which bind you and your husband together are insufficiently important to you. No doubt having children together is a big bonding factor but this does not apply to me and anyway eventually they leave home to make their own lives ...

To her credit, my wife has always acknowledged that my interest is a passion for me and therefore she has always supported me in my folk activities. But, given we share so few joint interests, it has been very difficult for her to be at home alone or doing something else all the time, with us essentially living separate lives.

She therefore took a very bold decision to move out and she now lives 175 miles away. But we are still friends, we speak often and I go to see her and she comes back to see various members of her family who all live near me. Time will tell where we go from here - but perhaps I already know in my heart of hearts!

It is a cliche to say that life is full of choices but it is true. And some of them are very hard to make and are potentially life changing. And, of cousre, not making a decision to make a big change is, in effect, a decision to stay with the status quo. The other cliche, of course, is that you only live once ...

Have you seen this thread: NotMusic: I'd pick more daisies.... It certainly made me think.

"... and my soul it soars enchanted ..."
Alan