Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering when the US would begin invading when his telephone rang.
"Hallo,Mr.Hussein!" aheavily accented voice said."This is Paddy,down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo,Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well,Paddy," Saddam replied,"This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation,"there is myself,my cousin Sean,my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub.That makes eight!"

Saddam paused."I must tell you,Paddy,that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra!",said Paddy."I'll have to rin you back."

Sure enough, the next day,Paddy called again."Mr.Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be,Paddy?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combines,a bulldozer,and Murphy's farm tractor." Saddam sighed."I must tell you,Paddy,that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers.Also, I have increased my army to 1 1/2 million."

"Saints prserve us!" said Paddy."I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang back the next day."Mr.Hussein,the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airbrne! We've modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotgunsin the cockpit,and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have enlisted with us."
Saddam answered back: "You don't say! I must tell you that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided,surface-to-air missile sites. And, since we last spoke I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jesus,Mary,and Joseph!" said Paddy,"I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough,Paddy called again the nxt day."Top o' the mornin', Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell that we have had tocall off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam."Why the change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy,"we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and we decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

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