I have swum with and talked with manatees -- it was how I met my wife. No, really!!

I walked up to her in the lunch room at work, quite brazenly, and asked if she wanted to go diving with manatees with me next weekend. She said yes.

Now, that was almost 25 years ago, and it was the start of something really good in both our lives. We drove up to Crystal River, where a hot spring comes up from the limestones depths of the land, and snorkeled among the manatee for an hour. I went down and swam along side one, and we had a little conversation. He let me put my arm around him, and towed me along as long as I could hold my breath, no trouble. He told me he was just an average Joe (the translation is difficult -- perhaps schmoo is a better word), an ordinary manatee guy with no special qualities. I told him I knew just how he felt.

About then my lungs started complaining and I patted him goodbye. He flippered gently on into the green murky water near the bottom of the river, sniffing for weeds and grooving on the universe, and I broke for the surface.

Neither BBW nor I have ever forgotten that close encounter of the best kind.

I can tell you this. He was a LOT more civil than Mister Simpson seems to be, and certainly much nicer than those who write the news about Mister Simpson.

Amos