YOU WONDER WHY I'M A HOBO
(Haywire Mac or Carson Robison)

You wonder why I'm a hobo, and why I sleep in a ditch.
It ain't because I'm lazy, nope, I just don't want to be rich.
I could eat from dishes; it's only a matter of choice.
But when I eat from an old tin can, there ain't no dishes to wash.

Diddiley-dum dee-diddley di-de-do,
Diddley-dum dee-day.

Well, I could be a banker, if ever I wanted to be,
But the very thought of an iron cage is too suggestive to me.
And I could be an accountant, and always balance my books,
But readin' figures ruins the eyes and glasses spoil my looks.

I could be a conductor and never have a wreck,
But any kind of a railroad man to me is a pain in the neck.
And I could ride in a Pullman, but there it is again!
The plush they put on those Pullman seats
Tickles my sensitive skin.

I could be a doctor; my duty I'd never shirk.
But if I doctored a railroad bull, he'd never go back to work!
And I could be a broker, without the slightest excuse,
But look at 1929, and tell me what's the use?

I could be a soldier, and hold my rifle steady,
But why should I go volunteer? They'll draft me when they're ready.
You wonder why I'm a hobo, and why I sleep in a ditch;
It ain't because I'm lazy, nope, I just don't want to be rich.

---

Note from Joe Offer (16 Oct 2011): Most other sources identify the songwriter as Haywire Mac, but Sandy Paton said he thought the songwriter was Carson Robison. The song is often called "You Ask Me Why I'm a Hobo."