Under the pseudonym Grandpappy Whodoo, I write a "personals' column" for a local musicians' newsletter. Please give me your take on this fellow's problem. Here is the latest letter to me.

Dear Grandpappy:
    I am having a problem in my marriage with my wife of twenty years.
    The other night, I was playing a borrowed open-backed banjo, and I told my wife that I sure wanted one. She was in the other room, where she usually goes when I play my banjo or fiddle, and I had to kind of holler. She was watching some romantic pap on the TV.
    Then she came in, said she was going up to bed, and that I should come up in a few minutes, after her bath, for a surprise. i forgot all about it, because I was trying to learn the double thumb frail on the borrowed banjo. She got a little peeved.
    At any rate, she got mad, and told me to come upstairs and get in bed while she was in the bathroom. I obliged.
    Directly, she came out in a real fancy pajama top, with little red ribbon bows on the top. She kind of scooched across the room, and said, "I got you a little surprise." Then she undid one of them bows, and the jammys fell on one shouldr, and she pulled out a bottle of wine. Then she said, "And, here's another surprise." And, she undid another bow, and the jammys fell on down a little more, and she pulled out two glasses. So we poured a little wine.
    Then, she grabbed the last bow, and she said, "Now, I got you a real surprize, big boy. Something you reeeeeaallly want" I got so excited. I hollered, "Hot dam, you got me an open-backed banjo in there."
   She got very mad. What did I do wrong?
Signed: Sleeping in the car in Detroit (with my old banjo)

My reply:

Dear sleeping in the car in Detroit.
    Grandpappy Whodoo knows all about women, since my mom was once one, as were all of my wives. Unless the Mrs. is a very large woman, she obviously couldn't have had a banjo in her pajama top. You need to be more sensitive and think. You should have guessed that it was a harmonica. Or maybe a jaw harp. Something smaller. Go buy her a harmonica, or some other small insturment, and everything will work out.

Signed: Grandpappy Whodoo.


Do you mudcatters have a better "take" on this situation?